As I was stuck in traffic on the 405 and feeling grumpy, I saw the signs touting that the construction is a project of American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009.
Sure, I thought cynically, putting Americans back to work -- at minimum wage. Just how does that help me? Even the trickle-down economics of the Reagan era made more sense to me, and that made NO sense. I keep hearing that the recession is over and the job market is improving, and I do see an uptick in the number of job listings on the job boards. I just don't see an uptick in my own results.
Later, still stuck in traffic, I heard a report on NPR that while unemployment overall is down, unemployment among women is increasing. So it's not just me, a small comfort. This sent my mood-o-meter back into the yellow zone, a zone I'm trying to avoid. Some days I win the battle for a good attitude, some days not so much. Guess which kind of day this is.
I'm interested in knowing how others in my boat are coping. It's become clear that The American Dream that I grew up with is obsolete, but there isn't a switch I can throw to turn off my expectations. I know life isn't fair, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it to be. What I want most of all is Opportunity, and it seems to be in short supply. I feel like a plant that doesn't get enough sun to thrive. I am alive, but my limbs are spindly and fragile. If I could just find myself a place in the sun, I know I'd be ok. Unfortunately, the weather report predicts continued clouds.
Showing posts with label economy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label economy. Show all posts
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The Need To Be Heard
One of the things I learned fairly early in my client service career is that when someone is unhappy, sometimes all they need is a chance to vent. This was a revelation. I grew up in an environment where children were meant to be seen and not heard, so I never felt the gratification of being able to say my piece. If I was unhappy about the way I had been treated, I was supposed to suck it up.
"No one wants to hear you griping. Life's not fair. Keep it to yourself and get over it."
I believed it, as kids do. And I hated complainers, even myself when my internal chatter was about how my brother had it easier than me.When I went into therapy, I experienced the profound relief of telling my stories to someone who cared. More simply, I felt better when I got things off my chest and got some sympathy. Much to my surprise, I learned that this desire to be heard and acknowledged is a basic human need. None of my psychology or sociology or anthropology classes ever covered this. Or maybe I was absent that day.
My first boss was a genius at dealing with people. One of the many things he taught me as a young Account Coordinator was to listen to complaints, and reply with something like "I'm sorry that happened." or "That must have been hard." Don't interrupt and don't make excuses, just listen until they are done. Not everything needs to be solved. Sometimes an attentive listener is enough. This is one of the best pieces of advice I ever got, personally and professionally.
When I started listening in on Twitter, I was amazed at the banality of some of what was said. "Bananas for breakfast, need to get more at the market." Really, who cares? And why use up bandwidth to post something so trivial? All those haters on-line, complaining about the people who talk in the library or who don't start to fill out their check at the grocery store until the clerk is done with their order. Why all the vitriol?
Then it clicked -- the need to be heard. Who do you complain to about the state of the economy? There isn't one person responsible for the mess we're in, and there isn't much satisfaction in sending hate mail to Alan Greenspan. But posting a comment on Facebook and getting a thumbs up can be salve on the wound. I'm not alone, someone else gets it. I'm not in a world where I chat with my neighbors while I'm picking up my mail, and there just isn't much idle conversation in my day-to-day, but that idle conversation fills something in us. Social media gives us an outlet for those thoughts that press on us, or excite us, or scare us.
Now I get it. Social media is here to stay.
"No one wants to hear you griping. Life's not fair. Keep it to yourself and get over it."
I believed it, as kids do. And I hated complainers, even myself when my internal chatter was about how my brother had it easier than me.When I went into therapy, I experienced the profound relief of telling my stories to someone who cared. More simply, I felt better when I got things off my chest and got some sympathy. Much to my surprise, I learned that this desire to be heard and acknowledged is a basic human need. None of my psychology or sociology or anthropology classes ever covered this. Or maybe I was absent that day.
My first boss was a genius at dealing with people. One of the many things he taught me as a young Account Coordinator was to listen to complaints, and reply with something like "I'm sorry that happened." or "That must have been hard." Don't interrupt and don't make excuses, just listen until they are done. Not everything needs to be solved. Sometimes an attentive listener is enough. This is one of the best pieces of advice I ever got, personally and professionally.
When I started listening in on Twitter, I was amazed at the banality of some of what was said. "Bananas for breakfast, need to get more at the market." Really, who cares? And why use up bandwidth to post something so trivial? All those haters on-line, complaining about the people who talk in the library or who don't start to fill out their check at the grocery store until the clerk is done with their order. Why all the vitriol?
Then it clicked -- the need to be heard. Who do you complain to about the state of the economy? There isn't one person responsible for the mess we're in, and there isn't much satisfaction in sending hate mail to Alan Greenspan. But posting a comment on Facebook and getting a thumbs up can be salve on the wound. I'm not alone, someone else gets it. I'm not in a world where I chat with my neighbors while I'm picking up my mail, and there just isn't much idle conversation in my day-to-day, but that idle conversation fills something in us. Social media gives us an outlet for those thoughts that press on us, or excite us, or scare us.
Now I get it. Social media is here to stay.
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